Life, Love and the pursuit of Vodka

I'm sorry...WHAAAA?!?! 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️ Carlie's Dating Tips: #lifelovevodka

Guys, Can I let you in on a secret? Before I even read a message or look at your profile, your main photo determines everything! …and I’m not the only woman who thinks this way. Are you sending out polite messages, spelling her name right and mentioning something in your message that shows you actually READ her profile? Did you send her a wink or pay to show up first on her swipe options only to be left sitting there wondering what went wrong like Ryan Reynolds during the Green Lantern reviews? It’s simple! I can help! For training purposes, we’re going to call this the KAT method. Is your main profile photo of: K ids - I’m on a dating site to find you, not to be blasted in the face with the fact that more children will be around to eventually turn into teenagers and hate me. I have teenagers, y’all. Don’t make me think about kids and dating in the same swipe. It’ll go left IMMEDIATELY! A nimals, Dead or Dying - Hunter/Fisherman? GREAT! …but I can’t even s...

OK, Serious time. Have any of you read Girl, Wash Your Face ? So, here I am, minding my own business deep into a project a work, listening to my audio book and I was startled into attention at something I heard in this book. Well, let me start at the beginning… This book was highly recommended to me by a girlfriend. We were talking about life. One of those talks where everything just spills out and you overshare but everyone is oversharing and you feel a little less alone in this world… I love those talks. So, I immediately hopped on my phone to check out this book and wound up at a whopping #27 on the waiting list. I finally received my “automatically borrowed” book notification this morning, and as I was JUST finishing up on Book 1 of my guilty pleasure, Twilight, it was perfect timing! (It’s ok. You can judge me. I’m Barbeque Sauce… OK, yeah, yeah, I know I’m off topic but if you don’t know what I’m talking about check out 4 Ways to Deal with a Bully . If you’re a parent i...

Not all days are good. I'm not always pretty. I cry, sometimes a lot. I'm terrified of my parenting choices. I make horrible mistakes. I still have to try every day. This is me. #lifelovevodka #thisisme #keeptrying 

So, you're on the dating site and you finally find someone who you think is attractive, their page doesn't have any red flags and you decide to start a conversation. Everything is going fine for the first few back and forth messages, but then you realize that the other person isn't messaging you back... And when they do there's not much to it. What do you do? Go back through the messages you sent and determine how many of them asked a question. You would be amazed at how many men I've talked to on dating sites who answer questions and stop asking them. Do you know what this shows me? You're not interested in finding out anything about me. Not to mention, if you're not asking me a question that limits what I have to talk about. Always end your conversation/reply asking a question. This gives the other person a place to start and keeps the conversation going. You're welcome. *This goes out to you JS from POF. Sorry not sorry. Carlie's Dating Tips...

Carlie's Dating Tips: Be smart #lifelovevodka

OOOOH Someone's getting a unicorn for Christmas!!! I think Glittery Pink will do nicely. Carlie's Dating Tips: Get a unicorn instead. #lifelovevodka

I've decided on a new auto reply for after hour texts... Carlie's Dating Tips: Make sure you have the right plan for you! #lifelovevodka

Dear men, Don't hurt her. Carlie's Dating Tips: Don't be this guy #lifelovevodka

HA!!! If this ain't the truth... ❤💜💙💙 Carlie's Dating Tips: Always keep a Fire Extinguisher #lifelovevodka

Sometimes it doesn't work out. Whatever. It sucks. Just DON'T be this guy. Just. Don't. Carlie's Dating Tips: Don't be THIS guy #lifelovevodka

🤢🤢😭😂😂😂 Carlie's Dating Tips: Don't send dick pics. Just don't. #lifelovevodka

I’ve made mistakes. Boy, have I made mistakes! Sometimes those thoughts keep me up at night. Maybe you know what I’m talking about …you’re trying to sleep and your chest tightens with anxiety when that memory pops in your head of that one embarrassing thing you said/did 8 years ago (or yesterday!). Really!? Really, brain? I can’t remember whether I fed the dog tonight but you bring this up? Well, extra dinner for Ollie and extra coffee for me! Thank goodness for Grace! Thank goodness for the ability to LEARN from our mistakes… to give them purpose. I have so much to learn and I know I can plan on a few more doozies before I figure it all out, but my mistakes serve a purpose and I can only hope the MANY moments of ‘Aw, shit. What the hell was I thinking?!’ lead me to finding peace in whatever my future holds… and if I hope my future holds love and vodka, who could really blame me? 😉 #lifelovevodka

THIS. IS. EVERYTHING! #lifelovevodka

I've given it some thought... Carlie's Dating Tips: Don't forget to write back!  #lifelovevodka

I think we're all now VERY aware I'm a single gal in the world of obnoxious dating site messages and crude thirsty boys. There's so much more.  Hi, my names's Carlie Ann. I'm a woman, a mom, a friend, an employee, a student, a sister, a daughter, a singer, a performer, a blogger, a homeowner, a nerd, a HOT MESS and everything that comes with each of those titles. I bet we share at least one of these in common. Who are you? How do you define yourself? The reason I've chosen to share my experiences, my life, with you is because we need to pull together, relate to each other and realize we're all hot messes and triumphant together.  I think when life starts piling up on our shoulders we can either sink under the pressure or share our stories and hope to find common ground and maybe even humor. HOPEFULLY we can find some humor (as it tends to keep away the tears) and the weights of life won't seem as heavy. I want to be clear that I'...

Look, dating SUCKS! We all know it. Don’t be one of those people who makes it worse than a shirtless gym mirror picture (yeah, guys, those are awful), and definitely don’t be THIS guy. Sometimes there’s nothing anyone does wrong you just don’t feel a connection; and, it’s OKAY to say as much!  If you’re not feeling it, Be Honest! Honesty doesn't make you a coward. NOT letting someone know how you feel is cowardly...  and, on that note, let me just say ghosting is the most pathetic, cowardly form of douchecanoeing I can think of. Don’t do it! (If you don’t know what ghosting is, check this out https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/living-forward/201511/is-why-ghosting-hurts-so-much )   Carlie’s Dating Tip: Take rejection with grace. Don’t be a douchecanoe.  #lifelovevodka

Dear men, While I do get a laugh out of this, it's not something to send as an initial message before you get to know someone. Give it a little time, at least! SMH Carlie's Dating Tip: If you wouldn't say it in person, don't say it on the internet. #lifelovevodka

I’m not sure if I’m more turned off by the random pig face or the initial message dripping with possessiveness… Oy, * insert nervous laugh * Carlie's Dating Tip: Women belong to themselves. #lifelovevodka

Seriously, if you want to meet someone this isn't the tagline you should choose. Carlie's Dating Tip: If you wouldn't let your mamma see your dating profile, change it. #lifelovevodka

Didn't someone say, "Patience is the companion of wisdom"?  Carlie's Dating Tip: Give it more than 42 minutes  #lifelovevodka

A little about this blog... Dating. I understand no one will be a perfect match, but I feel it’s just as important to make sure that you are right for someone else as it is to find the person right for you. I think it's fair to have expectations and these are some of mine. I'm looking for a man who’s happy! I firmly believe that no one can make you happy. People can add to your happiness, but the foundation must already be there. I’m looking for a man who is confident! Everyone has moments of insecurity and their own ups and downs, but I’m looking for someone who realizes that these moments pass. I would like to meet a man who is comfortable in his own skin and with the person he is, but who can, at the same time, realize his faults and always strive to be a better person. I’m looking for a man who is supportive! This means Emotionally, Physically and Financially. Now, don’t get me wrong, I have always supported myself and am not looking for a “sugar daddy” by any me...

While I don’t consider myself a square, I’m not quite progressive enough to believe this is a great introductory message. Do you kiss your mamma with that mouth? Carlie's Dating Tip: Think-Would you kiss your mamma with that mouth? #lifelovevodka

Guys, this is not attractive. It's not going to make us swoon. We're not going to suddenly realize our 'mistake' of not replying. You're now becoming scary, possibility of being a stalker, guy. #lifelovevodka

"Let's be friends... mostly." Carlie's Dating Tip: Don't be THAT person... #lifelovevodka

I've been single almost 10 years and won't claim to be any type of pro at dating or relationships; however, I can confidently state staying awake on a date is mandatory to make a great first impression. Carlie's Dating Tip: Don't Pass Out Drunk #lifelovevodka